The Writing Process

I belong to the older generation that grew up on television rather than computers. Back when I was a kid if you missed the Charlie Brown Special, you missed it, period. You didn't see it again for a whole year. In those ancient days communication was always between friends and limited to scribbled notes passed when the teacher wasn't looking. We didn't have cell phones to text with or blackberries that would make us smarter than a fifth grader. So I learned to write on paper with a pencil that could only be erased a couple times before the paper eroded away.

Now days I communicate with a lot of people instantly. Like most people who have learned a new technology I've had my moments, that e-mail I shouldn't have sent or the blog post I wished I hadn't published. Unlike paper you can't erase until the message is obliterated and hope that The Gossip only tells a few people. Experience teaches you that The Gossip only hangs out in the hallways for a short time, people lose interest, and it's forgotten. E-mails and blog posts sit around like skeletons in the closet waiting for the Day of the Dead to rise again.

Because of the way I grew up and this new communication technology came into my life I write in two very different manners. On paper I'm a lot more free with my words. Paper can be shredded before anyone ever sees it. This allows me to think more internally about emotions and conflicts that maybe I wouldn't want to risk ever coming to light. When I write on my novel using pen and paper it works the same way. The words that flow aren't dialog or intense physical action but more description in particular I tend to tie the events into a character's psyche using more literary phrases. The paragraphs read like mint julep on a summer afternoon with the smell of barbecue in the air.

When I write on a computer the words look like they do in a book. This intimidates me. I think, "these words don't deserve courier font." I tend to use a lot of dialog and action because this is an external way of telling a story. These words will be published. No matter that I can hit the delete button and they "disappear." Have you ever watched the CSI or FBI shows and learned that they can read a hard drive that's been in a fire? Criminals can find what you thought you erased. The government can. You know that person who you want to keep a secret from can. Never type a word that isn't publishable.

So when I write my novel it goes back and forth constantly. I sit at the table and watch the birds eat seeds on my deck and I write the crazy preacher's sermon and the character's thoughts as she internalizes his words. I sit at the computer and write the dialog between two characters as one resists arrest, breaks an arm, and eventually is subdued. Sometimes I sit at the table and write the emotional build up that comes when the kid's anger boils. Then I go to the computer and write the scene where he burns the school down.

I have no idea if this is the right formula. The words are not piling up in my manuscript. The story doesn't have the conflict it needs to be a story. The emotional arc is undeveloped. Deep down inside though I know this is the manuscript that will be my first published novel. Why?

Those thoughts are on paper. They are private. One day I will put them in a computer and eventually in a blog post but at the moment they need to be somewhere that I can trust. (Not that the FBI wants to break in and read my manuscript. My sister and I have a running joke that they tapped my line and then died of boredom)